iKeep Running Around in Circles
by Kaumana
Summary: If you been in love with someone for years, how long would if take you to realize it? CAM - SURPRISE NEW CHAPTER UP
1. iComfort

iComfort

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Sam walked along Seattle's cold and empty streets. She had no idea where she was going, yet she walked anyway.

_Why am I not at Carly's house? Why am I out here? _she asked herself. Then she remembered, Carly's boyfriend was supposed to be over. She wasn't there because that would have been awkward. Plus she had grown to hate all Carly's boyfriends.

Sam sighed and breathed, "This is stupid. I'm hungry." She was right. Walking in the street at night for no purpose was stupid. Yet, whenever nights she wasn't at Carly's, she found herself out here. Just walking.

Was she thinking? Doubt it. The only subject that seemed to flood into her mind on these walks was the reason she wasn't at Carly's house and how much she hated her boyfriends. That was a stupid thing to think about.

The loud growl of her stomach seemed to echo off the asleep city. Sam finally decided it was time to go home. Her hunger was beginning to kill her.

Just then Emergency by Paramore began playing somewhere. Sam felt the vibration against her leg. She had specially picked this song. She knew who it was.

She sighed again, heavier this time, and decided that Carly was beginning to kill her also.

"Hello?" Sam breathed into the phone. Her voice cut into the silence of the night.

"Sam……." Carly squeaked out on the other line. Sam had known her for years and could tell she was holding back tears.

Hunger shot to the back of Sam's mind. Yes, Carly Shay came before food. Carly came before everything. After all these years, this had become Sam's way of thinking. She would drop anything for her. They were best friends --- no, closer than that --- sisters and this was the way it was.

"Carly, what's wrong?" Sam demanded.

The was a period of silence. Or, at least, to anybody that wasn't Sam, it was silence but she could hear Carly crying quietly.

"I'm coming over. I don't care if what's-his-face is over there."

"He's not." Carly said quickly in between tears.

"Okay." Sam answered softly. Her heart was breaking having to hear her friend sound so hurt.

"Just come in…… the door's unlocked……… I'll be in my room."

"Okay." Then Carly hung up so, from what Sam figured, she could cry without being heard.

People would describe Sam as lazy, aggressive, selfish, uncaring, and other words in that department but it was like that all switched off when it came to Carly. It took her all but ten minutes to sprint to Carly's apartment door. She quietly entered, shutting and locking the door behind her, and ran up the steps.

Sam didn't even realize she was out of breath until she was in the room looking down at Carly. She was lying face down with her head in her pillow. To anyone else it would have appeared as if she was sleeping, but this was Sam and she knew Carly better than she knew herself.

She could see how violently her shoulders shook and hear her muffled sobs.

"Carls………?" Sam said barely above a whisper. She wasn't even sure Carly heard her but she did. She slowly picked up her head out the pillow and looked at Sam with red and puffy eyes.

Sam rushed over and sat on the bed. Carly immediately threw herself on her and began crying with an intensity that up until that point had been contained.

Sam responded by wrapping solid arms around her friend and thought she would almost cry herself. She could feel how broken Carly felt in her arms and it was gut-wrenching.

But it also made her angry. She wanted to know who was responsible for this. Some people didn't understand the danger of messing with Carly Shay until Sam was pulverizing them. It wasn't weird to be so overprotective of her, it was just a sister thing, Sam reasoned silently with herself.

"Carly, what happened?"

"It's Victor." she cried.

"He hurt you?" Sam didn't wait for a response and headed toward the door. "I'll kill him." If whatever he did was enough to make Carly cry like this, he deserved to be dead.

"Wait - Sam!" Carly cried out. It was enough to stop Sam in her tracks. She turned around to face Carly even though she was burning on the inside and had her fists balled up so tight, her knuckles were white.

"Just please………… Stay." Carly continued softly.

Sam's heart jumped into her throat at the emotion of pure need coming from Carly's voice. Sam couldn't keep herself from thinking of the lyrics from My Heart. Funny how Paramore kept finding its way back into Sam's mind. It's like they have a song for everything. They had even replaced the Cuddlefish as Carly's favorite band.

_Stay with me…_  
_This is what I need  
Please……_

Sam slowly walked back over to the bed and sat down. "Alright. I'll kill him tomorrow." she smiled, trying to make light of the moment , when in reality, she was dead serious. He would get his tomorrow.

Carly gave Sam a little smile even though the streaks of tears were still evident on her face. "Well, Victor…….he…." She paused as if struggling for the right words.

Sam sighed, beginning to get annoyed. Of course it was Victor. These always came down to those two-bit losers who didn't deserve Carly. It was ever since Griffen, Carly had been on this loser bad boy streak. First, there was Griffen and then Blake and then Ryan then Sam stopped bothering to remember their names. They were all the same so she hated them all.

All those stupid relationships had ended the same way. Either Carly found some flaw and dumped them or they hurt her. Those were the people who were now on crutches. But Sam never blamed Carly. It was their faults for not being perfect enough for her.

Carly ignored Sam's sigh and pulled her into a hug. Sam wrapped her arms around Carly tightly and she lay her head on Sam's shoulder . Sam told herself that her heart was beating fast because she was angry.

"He……….. cheated on me, Sam."

"What?" This infuriated Sam. She couldn't comprehend why anyone would cheat on Carly. She was perfect. She was beautiful and nice and everything people looked for in a person.

Carly's voice began to break when she started again. "I-I-I called him because we were supposed to go out tonight………… and a-a-a girl, she an-answered the phone which was I-I-I called his cell…… and- and-and-"

"Carly, breathe." Sam knew she was stuttering because she was crying so hard.

Carly took a deep breath then slowly continued. "I asked if I could speak with Victor and she said he was busy so I told her to tell him I called she said whatever. Then…….." she paused like she couldn't believed what she was about to say actually happened. "I guess she forgot hang up or something because at first I heard………… the bed creaking. Then.……" her tears began falling free again. "I heard moans…….. and screams. I recognized his voice and I just hung up."

Carly's mouth was right next to Sam's ear so she could hear when she began crying harder. She could feel the wet warmth of tears sliding down her neck.

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him. I'll kill him and chop his balls off." Sam murmured but Carly said nothing of objection. She just continued to cry. Maybe she secretly wanted her to.

Something had been eating at Sam ever since Carly said that Victor has cheated on her. Finally, she blurted it out. She grabbed Carly's shoulders and moved her so they were looking face to face.

"Did you put out to that guy?" Sam questioned.

"God, Sam. No!" Carly rolled her eyes through tears.

_Good, _Sam thought, _then that means she's still a virgin. _And as long as Sam had anything to do with it, she would stay that way. She didn't want anybody defiling Carly by touching her. It's not like she was asking for her to remain chaste the rest of her life. Carly could have sex. Just after Sam was dead.

Sam remembered that Carly was hurting and now was not a good time to be questioning her up but she just had one more.

"Carly………."

"Hmm?" Her crying had gone down to a few sniffles.

"Did you…….. you know, like, love him?" Sam turned away so she couldn't meet Carly's gaze. She had an unexplainable fear of what the answer might be.

"Well…… no but it still hurts."

Sam didn't realize she was holding her breath until she released it. A large sense of relief washed over her for no apparent reason.

"I mean, like, what's _**so**_ wrong with me?"

Carly's criticism of herself snapped Sam out of the relief induced daze she was in. She held Carly's shoulders more tightly than before, forcing her to look directly into her eyes.

"Nothing is wrong with you." Sam began sternly. "You're perfect. There's something wrong with Victor . He's just a hormone-raging turd that would rather have a slut than somebody whose marriage material."

A look of confusion fell across Carly's face followed by red and Sam realized the intensity and passion of her mini speech. She was gripping Carly's shoulder so hard, it had to hurt. She quickly withdrew her hands and looked away. She didn't notice that Carly had stopped crying completely.

"And he doesn't deserve you any way." Sam mumbled. No one ever would.

Carly stared at Sam with a look of disbelief. "Wow……….. Sam…….. you've never been one for compliments." Then she smiled and Sam smiled back.

"Yeah…….. well……… don't ever expect ever to hear anything like that from me ever again."

"You've made your point with the excessive use of 'ever'. And even if you were just making all that stuff up, at least I don't feel like crap anymore."

"I wasn't." Sam admitted. She felt physically exhausted from her outburst, and also emotionally even though she didn't know why. She had to get some sleep. Now. She had a fight tomorrow.

"Aaaaw, Sam." Carly's smile got even bigger.

"Now go to sleep." Sam threw off her sneakers and lay down on the side of the bed nearest to the door, pushing Carly on the side against the wall. That was if someone burst in she could get them before they got Carly. That over protectiveness that Sam swore spawned from sisterly love was always there.

"Sam! Your jeans are going to scratch me!" Carly whined.

Sam sighed loudly and ripped off her pants, revealing her plaid blue boxers. She threw her jeans to the floor. "Happy now?"

"Yes."

"Well, let me go to sleep then or I will go downstairs and eat all the food in your fridge."

Sam felt the bed shift as Carly lay down beside her. Sam nonchalantly threw an arm around her waist and pulled her as close as humanely possible.

"I hate Victor." Sam whispered. "Turning my best friend into a nervous wreck."

"Aaaaw, Sam." Carly answered, sleepily opening her eyes to look at Sam.

"Shut up." Sam scolded but smiled. "I'm still holding that threat against your food supply."

"You'll eat in anyway…….." She yawned.

Carly fell asleep first. Almost immediately. Sam made sure she was asleep before drifting off to sleep herself.

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Author's Note: As I was typing this I realized I used the word "Carly's" several times in the beginning. That annoyed me but I couldn't think of any other way to put things. Oh well, haha. Also, the excessive use of "ever" in Sam's speech was an accident. But instead of changing it, I just worked it in. I was too lazy to go back to that particular line haha. Anyway, next chapter will be up soon! And I mean real soon. Like tomorrow! Until then, my readers.

(P.S. PLEASE REVIEW. That is all.)


	2. iDon't Think

iDon't Think

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Sam methodically opened her eyes in response to being hit with light. Slowly the right one, then the left. She picked her head up slightly to look for the source of the light.

The sun shone directly into Carly's bedroom window. Sam squinted against its harsh rays and sighed. It had to be at least noon , the sun was at its highest but she was still pretty tired. She actually thought about going back to sleep when she remembered she had to fight Victor.

Sam looked over at her still asleep friend. Her face was bathed in sunlight and it made her skin look golden. Her dark brown hair fell about her face and she looked so peaceful.

Sam slowly and gently slinked her arm from around Carly and sat up cautiously, being careful not to wake the sleeping girl. However, she failed. As soon as she twisted and her feet landed on the floor, she felt Carly grab her arm firmly.

"Sam……."

She turned around and gave Carly one of her best get-out-of-jail-free smiles. "I'm just going to brush my teeth."

"I don't believe you." Carly mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her free hand.

"I promise I will tell you before I leave." She tried to make her smile stronger. There are very few people who can resist Sam's charm, and Carly wasn't one of them.

"Okay."

The bed creaked and shifted as Sam stood up and headed to the bathroom, leaving Carly with only her thoughts.

She could hear the sound of the water running from her room. Even though Sam was true to her word, she would probably want to go after Victor immediately after brushing her teeth.

Carly pondered on whether or not she would let Sam go. She couldn't fight all her battles for her. But then she soon realized that no matter what she said, she wouldn't be able to talk Sam out of it. There was no way to change Sam's mind once it was made up.

Sam reentered the room and yawned. "Ah, minty."

"Sam, can I ask you something?" Carly asked.

"What?" She answered, picking her jeans off the floor and proceeding to put the on.

"When you go to Victor's house, please don't kill him."

"What?" Sam froze in mid-pants zippering. "I thought you said you didn't love this guy……. He cheated on you, Carly. He deserves to be dead."

"I know that's what you think --- and no, I told you I don't love him --- but Sam, if you literally KILL him, you'll go to jail."

Sam continued to fix her pants and then slipped on her sneakers. "That's if the cops can catch me." She stated as if that was all there was to it.

"Well……"

Sam walked over and pulled Carly's hand into a soft grip. "Just go back to sleep, Carls. I'll be back soon." She gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Um…… okay." Carly judged that the fluttering her stomach came from fear of Sam getting herself in trouble.

"Cool." Sam swiftly left the room, once again leaving Carly to her thoughts .

Carly glanced at the clock on her bedside table. 12:35. She yawned deeply as she came to the conclusion that it was time to get up.

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Carly slowly walked down the steps. It was quiet. Weird. Spencer was always doing something that made some sort of noise. This also made Carly contemplate how living with her brother had messed up her sense of logic. It things were quiet, something was wrong. Yet, if the sound of a chainsaw filled the loft, that was just normal.

She spotted a note on the counter. Hopefully, it had something to do with this eerie quiet. It read:

"Carly, I left early for an art expo but you and Sam were

still sleeping so I didn't want to wake you guys. Also,

no coffee.

- Spencer"

Carly grinned at that last statement. He wasn't home so she would have coffee if she wanted to. She was already turning the coffee maker on before she read Spencer's name.

There was a knock at the door and Carly jumped five feet in the air. She was hit with the thought that it was Spencer coming to yell at her for drinking coffee. However, that idea was quickly debunked with the fact that Spencer would walk right in. He wouldn't knock.

"Who is it?" Carly called from the kitchen.

"It's Freddie. Can I come in?" The voice from behind the door answered.

"I guess so."

Freddie prudently opened the door enough to fit his head inside. He suspiciously looked around. "Where's Sam?" he questioned.

"She left."

Freddie smiled and let out a relieved breath. He walked in and closed the door behind him. "Whatcha doing?"

"Making coffee."

"I thought Spencer said you couldn't have any coffee."

"Spencer's not here."

_Victor…………….. this is where you live……….. _Sam thought as she stomped up the stairs of the apartment building. Her anger growing with each step.

Finally, after what seemed like too long to Sam, she reached the door of his apartment. Her fist rapped the door loud enough for the sound to echo through the hallway.

The door slowly opened and a boy with a smug smile appeared. "Ah, Sam, I knew you wanted me."

Sam didn't even bother to respond, she just threw her fist in his direction with all her might. Her knuckles slammed into his face and he flew back into the apartment. When he hit the ground he literally, and I kid you not, bounced. Sam had to bite down hard on her lip to keep from laughing.

Victor stumbled to get back to his feet and threw a clumsy punch at Sam, blood spewing from his nose. She easily evaded his attack and punched him in the stomach. He doubled over and Sam took this as an opportunity. She grabbed the nearest item she could, which happened to be a notebook, and came down hard with it on Victor's head. He fell back to the ground.

"What is this for?" he coughed. Well, actually more like squeaked and then followed by a series of coughs.

Sam walked over and menacingly stood over him. "You cheated on Carly."

Victor smiled. It was a sickening sight. The blood from his nose stained his teeth red. "Oh, her. She found out? Oh well. She was a stale fish anyway.

Even more anger (which should have been impossible) shot through Sam. She hauled off and kicked him……….. right in the ribs. He grabbed his side and coughed some more.

"I would kill you but then I wouldn't be able to beat up assholes like you from jail."

Victor didn't answer but continued rolling on the ground and moaning in pain. Sam's stomach growl was enough to overpower that sound though.

"Hmmm……. I'm hungry. You don't mind if I grab something from your fridge?"

Once again, Victor said nothing.

"Of course you don't mind." She walked calmly back towards his kitchen.

"So, where did Sam go?" Freddie asked. He was sitting on the couch and Carly was standing beside the counter, sipping her coffee.

"To go beat up Victor." she answered simply.

"Your boyfriend?"

"**EX** - boyfriend."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"We're through. I can't be in a relationship like that."

"Hmmm……. makes me wonder why Sam is still around……."

"What?" A confused look was clear on Carly's face. Freddie wasn't making any sense. "What does my boyfriend have to do with Sam?"

"You mean you never realized that? All your boyfriends starting with Griffen are all like _**boy**_ versions of Sam!"

The look of puzzlement did not fade so Freddie sighed and continued to explain himself more fully.

"They're all smug, aggressive, lazy and just overall juvenile delinquents. Just like Sam! You already have a best friend that's crap. You don't need a boyfriend that is too."

Carly shook her head and giggled. Freddie's face was beginning to get red and flustered. "You're starting to sound crazy."

"No I'm not! She hits, she teases, she spits! She just doesn't have any respect for either of us!"

Carly walked over to the couch and sat down next to Freddie. She laughed again. "Freddie, she only does those things to you, not me." Freddie was making a fool of himself but she couldn't blame him. No one knew about the softer, more sensitive side of Sam but her.

Freddie looked completely deflated. He hadn't managed to accomplish anything by talking except making himself look like a complete idiot. "Well……. I'm just saying that if I was your boyfriend, I'd cherish you."

"Aaaaw." Carly teased. That was sweet. Freddie might have been a bumbling idiot when it came to actual human interactions but his heart definitely was in the right place. Carly mulled over why she had never given him a chance. He was a really sweet guy.

"Why does every apartment building have so many steps?!!??!!?" Sam mumbled to herself as she found herself once again climbing stairs.

She stared down at her knuckles. They were red and split. She opened and closed her hands in an attempt to ease the pain in them.

_Why does it have to hurt when you try to hurt someone else?_, she wondered as the stinging made her wince. Hopefully, Carly would have something for her knuckles. And if she didn't, she would make Freddork go get something from his apartment. His mother had plenty of first aid crap. And even more hopefully, Carly would have ham in her fridge. She had just eaten but walking can really put a dent in your stomach.

At last, Sam arrived at Carly's door. With no hesitation, she opened the door and barged in but nothing could've prepared her for the following scene.

Carly and Freddie had been sitting on the couch, **KISSING**,but they broke apart as soon Sam burst in. It wasn't like HUGE make out or anything. Just light kissing. Yet, even this sight made Sam feel off balanced. Something had been tipped.

She didn't even give her brain a chance to comprehend the situation and the strange feeling before she was lunging at Freddie's throat. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" Being the nerdy punk that he is, he was already up and running before Sam reached the couch. Shrieking, he ran past and out the open door, slamming it closed behind him.

Incomprehensible fury screamed for her to run after him and beat him to bloody pulp. In spite of that, the unfamiliar feeling of precariousness kept her feet glued in placed, calling for an explanation. So she just stood there, silently fuming, glaring at the floor. Carly stared at her, perplexed by the whole situation. But there was also something that had her completely dumbstruck.

"Sam? Are you crying?"

"Wha….?" Sam reached up to feel the tears on her face. She stared at the wetness on her finger like a foreign substance. This quickly shifted to the look of someone who had been cornered.

"Sam???!!?!" Something had to be severely wrong for tears to come to Sam's eyes. She couldn't hide the freaking out in her voice.

Something in Sam gathered that there was no clarification to be had here. Carly looked just as confused and freaked as she felt. There was only one thing that was clear amongst her jumble of emotions. And that was to run. So she did.

She said nothing but merely turned and ran out the door. Carly ran after her but stopped at the top of the stairs. Sam was already halfway down.

"Wait - Sam! Where are you going?? I'm confused!" Carly called after her.

"Me too!"

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Author's Note: I wrote the beginning and middle fast but I sat at the computer for almost THREE HOURS just to work on that ending part. And I mean like starting with "Carly and Freddie had been sitting on the couch….." Yeah. Its true. It took me that long to write that short part. It was so hard to get it just right! I've never been good at writing emotions. Hopefully, I did well.

Also, I know that these past two chapters I've been really focusing on Sam's emotions. The next chapter will be more about Carly's feelings. So PLEASE REVIEW! If you thought I did good tell me. If you thought it was bad……. keep it to yourself. Seriously. o_O I don't need that haha.


	3. All iKnow is Falling

Quick Author's Note: This chapter sucks. It's basically just filler so I can get to the part I want to write :) But enjoy anyway! (Do not write me a review saying this is poo. I already know that)

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All iKnow is Falling (Stage 1: Frustration)

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Monday wasn't that bad. But considering that everything happened on Sunday, that didn't count for much. When Sam ran, Carly didn't think too much of it. She figured that Sam was just disappointed with her for kissing Freddie, who was "beyond dorkdom", but would get over it by school time on Monday. Well, parents teach us not to assume because assumptions can and most likely will be wrong.

Sam didn't come to her locker.

Carly had to walk to science class alone.

Sam was already in class.

Wendy was sitting next to her.

In Carly's seat.

The worst part was that Sam didn't even look back at her and Freddie was doing some stupid wiggly thing with his eyebrows, flagging her over to come sit with him. She had no choice. Her place had been stolen.

Why was Wendy in _**HER **_seat? She and Sam had always been lab partners. Wendy couldn't just replace her all of the sudden. There had to be an explanation for this.

Carly ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook and wrote three letters that would sum up everything. 'WTF????' She folded up neatly and passed it to the unimportant face in front of her. The boy read the name and then passed it up.

Eventually the note reached its destination into Sam's hands. She carefully opened it up and read. Carly watched intently as if she would be able to determine what Sam was writing from the pencil movements. However, Sam just turned and looked back at her. She looked as though she wanted to say something but her mouth had decided against it. She turned back around and slipped the note into her pocket without writing a thing.

Freddie was talking about a date or something. Carly wasn't listening. She was swallowing the urge to yell at Sam for not answering her.

"I'm not going on a date with you Freddie." She spat instead.

_We've tried so hard to understand,_

_But we can't._

_We held the world out in our hands_

_And you ran_

_Away._

It wouldn't have hurt as much if they didn't share all the same classes. The evasions could've been chalked up to just being busy. But they did. All day, Carly had to watch Sam deliberately avoid her. Sitting away from her usual seats and talking to different people.

Even in the hallways, Sam tried to get to her next class as quickly as possible, running over kids in the process. Which wasn't any different from usual except that now it was to get _away _from Carly. But what hurt the most was not knowing why Sam was treating her like she was a plague.

But by lunchtime, this hurt was turning into frustration. It was unfair for Sam to be mad at her without giving a reason so she couldn't fix it. Carly was tired of Sam's elusion and resolved there was no way she was getting passed her in the cafeteria.

Carly spotted Sam leaving the lunch line and heading towards the vending machines. She didn't reach them though.

"Sam, what's going on?" Carly whispered so it wouldn't sound like they were having a argument in the middle of the lunchroom.

"Huh? Wha- what do you mean?" Sam asked defensively.

Carly grabbed a tray, trying to make it seem as though they were casually talking while she was getting her lunch. Yet eyes still stared up at them. These were the eyes that had seen Sam practically run from her earlier. "Look. Are you angry with me?"

"I think… I more confused than anything…"

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" Her voice raised a bit frantically before she remembered people were watching.

"Avoiding? I don't know… I'm trying to think about some things…"

"Is this about yesterday?"

"Not really… I guess… Yeah…"

"You can talk to me abo- SAM! I'm right here!" Carly scolded referring to Sam's repeated glances over her shoulder. "What is behind me that's so important?"

"Carls... they're gonna eat all the fatcakes if I don't get to that vending machine soon."

"Really?" Her voice dripping with incredulity. "You know what? I give up. If you want to be mad at me for no reason. Go ahead. I'm done."

Once again, Sam looked as if she wanted to say something but just shook her head and walked away. Carly grabbed a lunch and stomped over to her table.

She let out a shaky breath as she sat down.

"Hey. Why isn't Sam sitting over here?" Freddie asked. They both looked over and saw her sit at a different table.

"I don't know." Carly mumbled as she glared down at the food she had purchased.

Freddie had seen their confrontation earlier. "Are you guys fighting?"

"I don't know."

Freddie paused as he watched Carly's face twist up like she was either going to cry…… or throw up. "What happened ba-"

Carly slammed her fists on the table. "Will you just leave it alone!" Immediately recovering from her outburst, she became solemn again. Her jaw clenched and the feeling of hopelessness was slowing eating her insides.

The rest of the lunch period was quiet.

_Now we can follow you back home _

_But we won't._

_Is this what you had waited for? _

_Just to be alone?_

_It takes some time to let you go _

_And it shows._

_Cause all we know is falling, _

_It falls._

_Remember,_

_Cause I know that we won't_

_Forget_

_At all._

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Author's Note: I feel horrible. I kept you guys waiting forever only to post this sucky chapter. But I promise the last two will be better. Yes. And by that I mean the story is ending soon. I'm ridiculously afraid of long fan fictions so I won't turn this into one.

Addressing my readers: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! You guys have made me realize I'm really good at making people cry or take them to the brink of crying, which is weird because I think my writing is severely lacking in the emotion department (DO NOT AGREE WITH ME! hahaha). Your reviews really make me want to continue this story but too bad I can only write something decent when I'm half asleep.

Anywho, (I'm rambling), please review but only if you want to because I know I didn't give you much to work with on this chapter.

P.S. I hope you noticed my extensive use of ellipses in Sam's speech! I just learned what they are in Enligh class so when I first wrote this I used the dots as pauses but then I came back and realized it would be better if I made them all into ellipses(…) so it feels like there's something Sam can't say or intentionally refuses to tell Carly. These are honestly my favorite part of the chapter! Sorry. Sorry. Too much rambling.

Kaumana


	4. iDon't Understand

iDon't Understand (Stage 2: Denial)

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Carly sat on the couch. Her phone was in front of her on the coffee table. She had been watching it intently for the past few minutes. Her stare seemed almost as if she was willing the phone to ring. Her arms were crossed and her brow was furrowed in a focused fashion. The television busied itself with playing some melodramatic teen show. Probably the Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Spencer burst in through the front door. Carly gave him a momentary glance and quickly went back to her stare-down with her cell phone.

"Sup." He said as he threw his coat in the direction of his room.

"Hey." Carly answered without looking up from the phone.

"How was school?"

"Fine."

Now it was Spencer's turn to stare at his sister. Over the period of two minutes, not once did she look up at him. She was being weird.

"What are you doing?" He asked in that slow way people do when confused and/or freaked out.

"Waiting for Sam to call."

Then Spencer remembered and his expression changed from that of puzzlement to concern. "I thought you and Sam were fighting."

"We're not fighting." Carly said with finality. "It's more of a…… miscommunication."

"Ah… Did Sam say she was going to call?" Spencer walked over and sat down next to Carly.

"No but… I expect her to because… we need to talk." There were pauses in her speech as there were gaps in her reasoning.

"She told you she wanted to talk?"

Carly looked at him helplessly. Since when had he been such a person for questions? "No but… even if we were fighting, we always speak to each other….. even if it's to yell….. we never just stop talking….." At this point, she seemed more to be convincing herself than to answer Spencer's question.

He was looking at her with that face. That sympathetic face. He was waiting for her to cry. Well, she wouldn't. She wouldn't cry.

Dammit.

Spencer pulled his younger sister into his arms as she began to sob uncontrollably.

"Sam hates me…. She won't… She won't talk to me…." Carly breathed between tears.

"Sam doesn't hate you. Maybe you just need some time apart."

"No. She hates me….. She hates me because I kissed Freddie…."

"Why would she hate you for kissing Freddie?"

"I don't know! But we're not fighting…. this is…. different."

All right, that was enough for now. No more talking. Spencer just let Carly cry and gently stroked her hair.

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers_

_Tower over me_

_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence _

_And oh, the promise we adored_

_Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole _

After about half an hour, Carly had quieted down to sniffles.

"I think I know what will cheer you up." Spencer announced.

"What?"

"Some of Galini's pie! Come on! Get up! Let's go!" Teenage girls were weird sometimes. His solution was food. You can never go wrong with food. Especially Galini's pie.

Unfortunately, Spencer's enthusiasm about pie didn't transfer over to Carly. She stood up but not in an excited way as he had.

"No thanks. I'm just gonna go up to my room." She said, her voice trembling, barely over a whisper.

Spencer watched his sister hurriedly walk up the steps. She was completely subdued and it was heartrending. He had never seen her so sad before. She was genuinely forlorn and no food could fix it.

Not even Galini's pie.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for keeping you guys waiting so long. I lost my mojo. But hopefully I've made up for it. I really liked this chapter. It's a little on the short side but still. Don't worry. I'll make up for it in the next chapter. However, I don't think I spelled "Galini" right. Oh well.

Review! You must! I live on them! No flames though. (you must also check out some of my one-shots and review them)

P.S. Don't you just love protective Spencer?

P.P.S I recommend you listen to the song "Circles" by Mariah Carey. It goes with the theme of the story and inspired the title. Seriously. Go do that. And look up the lyrics.

Kaumana


	5. iAvoid

**Author's Note:**

**As I sat down to write this, Ride of the Valkyries began playing in my head. And I imagine everyone looking toward me with widen eyes. "IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING?" They ask. "IS THIS STORY FINALLY GOING TO BE FINISHED?"**

**And I am here to tell you yes folks, I am finally finishing this story. After like two years that I have been making you guys wait, and I hate myself for it. I couldn't even reread my own story because I was so filled with self-loathing. However, I would like to say that perhaps I am a better writer now. And maybe the wait was worth it.**

**Well, I'm like four minutes into Ride, we might as well get this started.**

**Kaumana**

* * *

They were probably making out right now.

What if they had been going out behind her back this whole time? He lives right next door, they could hang out whenever they wanted to.

What if they're fucking?

Oh god.

Sam sat up in her bed. These pervasive thoughts had been keeping her awake, no solace to be found in trying to sleep.

She flicked her light on and immediately began freaking out. She was in somebody else's room. Someone with a clean room. But then she noticed the Death Cab for Cutie poster on the wall and remembered that this was her room. Except clean. Ungodly clean and orderly.

"Sam!"

Her mother was shouting from another room. She sounded a mix of angry and confused, enough so that Sam hurriedly got up and went to the source of the sound.

"Yeah, Mom?"

"What's wrong with the TV?" Her mother was standing defensively towards the television, as if it were an animal, about to pounce.

"Nothing," Sam mumbled, rubbing her tired eyes. They were burning. _If only she could sleep._

"Exactly! And the room's all clean!" She breathed, looking increasingly nervous, glancing around the room. "And the kitchen sink's not dripping! And the toilet's fixed! And someone finally changed the showerhead! AND EVERYTHING'S ALL CLEAN!" Concluding her spiral, she grabbed Sam violently by the shoulders and stared into her face. "I THINK THEY'RE TRYING TO KICK US OUT OF THE APARTMENT."

Sam broke away from her mother's grip. "Mom, no. I fixed everything."

Impossibly, Sam's mother looked even more worried. "And cleaned everything?"

"Yeah."

Her look quickly changed to one of disbelief. "Psh. Liar. You don't clean."

"Well, I did today." Sam walked away and flopped down onto the couch. "Who else do you think could've done it?"

Sam's mom sighed. "You'd think I'd be able to tell the difference between my own daughters by now. Melanie, what are you doing in town?"

"That's not funny, Mom." Sam answered dryly.

"Hey." She walked up behind the couch and knelt down so she was on the same level as her daughter. "Hey," she said, poking Sam in the face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Sam mumbled, flagging her mother's hand away.

"Alright, Sam. I know you. And the only time you do _anything_ is when you're trying to keep something off your mind. Last time I remember something bothering you, you had opened every pack of cards in the house and made a tower that almost touched the ceiling. Now something's got to be really wrong if you're actually helping around the house."

"Psh, can't a person clean their entire house every once in a while?"

"Oh, it's so nice of you to drop by Melanie."

"Seriously, Mom. That's not funny."

"Then why am I laughing?"

Sam huffed and turned away from her mother, crossing her arms.

"Alright, alright." Sam's mom stood up. "If you won't talk to me about whatever it is, why won't you go talk to Carly? You two haven't hung out in a couple of days."

"Carly's depraved."

Sam's mom stopped dead in her tracks. "Seriously, is this The Parent Trap?"

"This is so stupid. Talking to you is stupid."

Sam's mom walked to the front of the couch and sat down. "Alright, alright. Where did you learn a word like 'depraved' anyway?"

Sam pointed over her shoulder towards the hallway. "From your word-a-day calendar when I cleaned your room."

"Oh yeah. I forgot I had one of those. I haven't changed it in a really long time…"

"Yeah, you were pretty dilatory with it."

"STOP THAT."

"I CAN'T." Sam grabbed the couch pillow and shoved it to her face.

Sam's mom took a pause, as if to gather her bearings after witnessing Sam behave so strangely. "Okay, so what makes Carly so 'depraved' anyway?"

"I don't know. She really isn't. I just said it because I'm angry, I think? But it doesn't make sense that I'm angry? It's like all the sudden I'm confused about everythi-"

"Did you have a dirty dream about your best friend?" Sam's mom calmly interrupted.

"Mom. WHAT."

"Did you have a dirty dream about your best friend?"

"No! Why would you even suggest that?"

"Because you're being really strange and avoiding Carly like an alien or something so-"

"That doesn't even make sense…"

"I know. I know for the longest time I thought you guys were already going out. You act like it." By this time, Sam's mom was more rambling to herself than talking to Sam. "Whenever you guys were watching movies I would check on you guys periodically to see if you were making out so I could throw water all over you and it'd be hilarious but you never were. So then I thought, 'Ah, Sam's gotta be really clever.' But then I thought, 'It's impossible to be that clever. It'd be more like magic.' Then I thought, 'WHAT IF MY DAUGHTER'S A WIZARD?' Then I realized I'd think I'd know if you were a wizard? But anyway, what a waste of freezing cold water." She sighed mournfully to herself and looked lost in thought.

"Mom, I don't even know where you are anymore…"

"Oh!" She snapped back to the conversation at hand. "I was just thinking about how I haven't pulled any pranks on you recently."

"But can you rewind a little? You know, back to the point about thinking Carly and I were going out?!"

"Hmm… yes. You guys touch each other too much. It makes people think you're a couple."

Sam shook her head incredulously and stood up, throwing her hands in the air. "That's it! I'm going to bed!" She wasn't making any sense and now neither was her mother, not that she made any sense usually. Great. Her mother passed down a gene making them the "Incomprehensible Family!"

"Okay! Goodnight Evil Twin!" Her mother called from the living room.

"Goodnight Terrible Mother!"

Sam walked into her room and threw herself onto her bed. She was so exhausted she couldn't even find the strength to pull the covers over herself. Hopefully, that meant she was tired enough to actually fall asleep.

* * *

Sam shot up in the darkness of her room.

"Mom! I had a dirty dream about Carly!"

"Aha!"

* * *

**My writing may be better but my personality's worse**

**im back bitchez**

**review please**

**feel free to yell at me about that absurdly long hiatus**

**I'M LIKE FALL OUT BOY**

**-kAUMANA**


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